Emergency. Red Level Emergency. If any American, government agent, or citizen receives this message, please share it with loved ones, other citizens, and any government official in your vicinity. Washington, DC was flooded by weather-modulated storms and infiltrated by genetically modified sharks. All of our Navy and home bases were hit by these storms, which we are certain were related to the shark attacks.The White House is surrounded by great white sharks. It is now ... a Great White House.