Have you ever been on a rollercoaster? Was it on fire? Were women and children hurling themselves out into space to escape a terrible fate? Well that's lovely because that's exactly the sort of happy experience you'll be able to relive inside this book. Over the course of 500 pages, you'll meet everyone from the dog who inspired a certain basketballing golden retriever to a well-meaning (if over-his-head) priest and his fraudulent psychic sidekick as they attempt to exorcise a possibly possessed, possibly ordinary, teenage girl. Is there more? Oh yes. In these eleven stories, you'll find some of the most horrifying people you can imagine as they wander through their world that is saturated by lunatics, sociopaths, talking dogs, Chappaquiddick Acevedo, and (yes) an honest-to-god dinosaur. There's violence. There's mayhem. There's the profane and the scandalous. And it's all wrapped up in a sexy pink and yellow package, just for you. Someone will eventually ask you why you did this to yourself. The answer will be immediate and automatic. "I don't know," you'll say. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Also, there are no page numbers. Because numbers (like "time" and "good taste") are annoyingly useless human constructs.