I never planned to write about my life with cerebral palsy (CP), but after years of absurd, frustrating, and hilarious experiences, I had to share them. This book is part memoir, part guide to navigating an able-bodied world when your body has its own agenda. From my mom almost being mistaken for a prostitute to a first date disaster in a movie theater, my life is full of bizarre encounters. Doctors talk over me, cops have been afraid of me, and strangers treat me like a sideshow. But if I don't laugh, I'll lose my mind-so I turn these moments into stories that entertain and challenge perceptions. Beyond the humor, I tackle the real struggles of living with CP-job interviews where I'm seen as a liability, the chaos of dating, and adapting to parenthood. I share hard-earned advice, including my experience with Botox (for muscle tightness, not wrinkles) and finding creative ways to make life accessible. At the core, this book is about resilience. I am more than my disability-stubborn, independent, and determined to live life on my own terms. If you have a disability, I hope this book makes you laugh and reminds you that you're not alone. If you don't, maybe it will open your eyes. Welcome to my ridiculous, wonderful life!